Cold chillin

Bernie Calderon
2003-05-06 01:13:00 (UTC)

Decisions decisions

Ever reach a decision in your life where you knew it was
wrong, but you had to do it because it felt right at the
moment you made it? Hindsight is always 20/20. I sometimes
wish I had tunnel vision and possess that sense of knowing
what's right, when I'm doing something. For the past few
days, I've been agonizing over a decision I made awhile
back that I severely regret now. Why didn't I say a certain
thing or act a certain way, or choose a different path?

I don't know how to let go of the past. I seem so put
together on the outside; appearances are always deceiving.
Inside, I'm teeming with turmoil and dysfunction. It's
funny how I can always mock others and fail to see the same
problems within myself. Or if I do see them, choose to
ignore them.

I think the only decision I need to concentrate on now is
letting go. Letting go of my past, of my life, of who I am
and everything that I embody. But like any decision I've
made, knowing me, I won't decide to do it.


bERNIe




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