Deacon Frost

Deacon Frost
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2003-05-05 16:27:56 (UTC)

Do you hear that Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability...

Well, it's been a while since I've written on here. I
honestly thought I wasn't ever going to get on here
again...but here I am. I think know I'm mostly trying to
pick up the pieces of my shattered life and see what's left.

Looking around, I see that's not much. And, a lot has
happened since I last wrote on here. Let's see, my
psychiatrist upped my medication, which is always good, but
it's costing a lot more. Farscape went off the air, which
is totally frelled. I've gotten settled into my apartment
which is cool, but the city of Temple has decided to
condemn my house.

That alone has created a whole mess of crap for me. I
finally came to realization that I can't keep the house. I
don't have the money to repair it in the way it needs to be
done. And that really hurts. I really only wanted two
things out of life...everything was icing. I wanted an old
Victorian house to myself, and an old Lincoln to drive
around. I don't think it was asking too much, but
apparently I was wrong. So, here I am, resigned to having
to sell house, and frantically trying to find a home
buyer...which isn't exactly easy since it's such a piece of
shit house, and I have just given up any hope of ever being
happy. I guess it was stupid of me to think I could be,
that the world would allow me to be, but now I know better.

And my car, well I did finally get the old thing out of the
body shop, but it still has several major mechanical
problems because of the accident, so now it mostly just
sits in the garage of my office, waiting for me to get some
money to work on it. Of course, that's not gonna happen
any time soon, I haven't had any spare change in quite a
while.

What bothers me even more, is that while the few things I
wanted out of life are being taken away from me, there are
co-workers out buying new cars and new houses...at the same
time! I can't keep my twenty year old car running, but
they're out buying quarter of million dollar homes.


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