boots

life's weird
2003-05-05 14:10:01 (UTC)

time rant

i hate how i have no goddamn time in my life. if i just
did school, i could be an A student. but i do
extracurriculars. if i just did extracurriculars and
school, i would be a B student. but i have a life. so to
keep my grades, i have to sacrifice something. my life. so
i have only a certain amount of time each weekend that
goes towards friends and free time. and that time can be
taken up very easily by a group or one person so i find
that i go through waves. i used to spend all my free time
with jordan simply because he did nothing and his friends
did nothing so it wasnt hard to just finish hw and walk
over to his house. and then i started hanging out with
hella other people and spending my time with groups or
splitting it up with multiple people. now that im going
out with someone else, i find that rather than using the
time when we cant hang out to hang out with other people,
im doing homework and shit then so that when we can hang
out, i can rest assured that my homework will get done.
and while i suppose thats nice because i get to see the
boyfriend, i feel like a loser when he goes out with his
friends and shit. and i know i have friends who would hang
out with me, if i had time....so im not really a loser...
i guess it just makes me feel socially inferior or
something. i guess theres really not much i can do about
it until school lets out because its not like i can just
go crazy on the weekends (and be a kid! what a thought!).
i guess ill can only try and schedule things with my
friends in advance and not cancel them. blach. i also hate
cramps. just so ya know.
me