2003-05-05 06:48:03 (UTC)

i know its not much but its the best i can do

how did i get to this point its so frustrating shouldnt i
be over this by now where all of a sudden i notice that my
cheeks are wet and tears are just pouring and for what why
is he worth this why when i pick one card out of 54 for the
first time i get soul mate hes nothing like me and he
doesnt love me enough to show it and i dont even LIKE so
many things about him but why do i feel so empty and like
this isnt right why cant we just be okay again and how did
we get here and why cant i just say i dont care i mean all
of a sudden just playing tetris and i realize im crying and
god damn i dont know what to do with myself i cant call him
because i know exactly what will happen and theres no point
in even bothering because it just keeps happening every few
days or every couple weeks and 4 years.... 4 fucking years