Hakerz338

Grass is Greener on the Other Side
2003-05-04 08:11:08 (UTC)

Guilt stricken

Well i got mad at her. This happened Thursday night. It was
briefly mentioned but not gone over in depth. Well i got
mad at her, because she wanted a friend not a BF. So that's
exactly what i did. I basically stopped trying to hit on
her, no more flirting, and kept it friendly but not like
super friendly. I mean it was more like hey, how is it
going kinda thing. I was distant, but a friend nonetheless.
She took it as if i was mad at her. In a way, I was. I felt
used, rejected and more. However, i reframed from acting in
an inappropriate way. But, she noticed that i didn't really
show much attention to her. So that night she asks me
what's up. So i told her nothing, i was nice when i stated
such. She's like something is wrong and i want to know. So
i was like you sure, yes she said. So i tell her, not
holding back everything, how i felt about her, how she hurt
me, how on earth is she still dating an ass like her BF. So
she goes off on me too. So at one point i was like forget
you, you know what Forget me, i hope you never call me
agian. So she's like i bet you don't even care about me. So
i told her the truth. I told her i cared about her, how i
don't wanna see her hurt, and all this stuff. Then
something was said and she was like DON'T CARE ABOUT ME,
and i was like you want the truth. I won't!! I shouldn't
have said that. Well right now, i don't think we are on
talking terms. I saw her last friday though, she didn't
talk to me. So, i ignored her. She smacked my head with
something and i was like what the heck was that for. So she
knows i'm still mad at her, however i can't help thinking
that she doesn't want me but just the attention that i give
her. So now i feel bad about what i said that night. I'm
thinking if i should appoligize or just be like forget it
it's only a girl. This also has to deal with other things
not just her. It has to deal with the whole women situation
with me. I have gotten the same deal with all of them. I
have gotten the "I like you as a friend" line which just
bothers me so much. Not only have they said things like aww
you're such a nice guy but things like you'd be like a
perfect BF to me. But still I am then just a mere friend.
It just erks me so much. So i went off on her about Women
kind. So i merely think that i yelled at her for the wrong
reasons. I think i'm right though too. She has led me on,
she wants to do stuff just us and things of such. So i
dunno. Maybe, I'm wrong. But i can't get her off my mind.
ARgh, it sucks that i have nothing better to do than to
worry about a girl, who used me. I'm still trying to decide
what i should do. I guess i'll give it a week maybe two.
Then depending on her and how she reacts to this removal,
i'll finally conclude. Sigh, i really can't act like a
jerk. When i see her i melt inside, but when i think of
what she did to me i freeze and harden. I hope it works out
in the end. Prolly won't...


L8r Dayz.




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