Aradia Goblin Queen

Aradia's Head
2003-05-03 05:35:28 (UTC)

i cant wake up

*how can you see into my eyes, like open doors?
leading you down into my court where ive become so numb*

im loving this song.
breath into me...
one of those songs i wish i had wrote.

its may, the mouth of the goddess and the god procreating
like crazy.
beltaine passed and has left me bleeding and off center.
i guess all the energy being thrown around by everyone
could have something to do with it.

i have a little energy id like to throw around myself.

i know i dont speak of it much, but im in the mood to speak
to speak about it a bit.
there are a few rituals id really like to try, but im one
of those *hasty witches*.
lots of my rituals are done in the moment. they usually
work from all the emotion that is evoked before hand. lots
of energy raised that way (even if it is unstable energy.
wot can i say? i thrive on chaos).
but lately, (or moreso for the past two years) instead of
those impulsive/chaotic/angsty rituals, ive been writing
instead. granted it isnt the best poetry out there, its a
definate way to purge myself of all the shit that piles up
in my blood


*that night*

heres one
shaking
the door clanked open
hands barely remain on the knob

all at once i was hit
orange oil,
beethoven's soft hands
and blurred vision

at least i was alone

sitting carelessly on my bed
i tossed down my purse
and lit up
disgusted by thick
yellow cigarette smoke

reflections of the night
dried on my shirt
random tears rolled down
resting on my breast bone

each drag dug deep
clawing down
suddenly floating i
layed back

black satin caught
i closed my eyes
still wet at the corners
the evening came in flashes

cups littered a table
and words were said
eyes averted from shock
the room fell silent

ashes fell
dancing on my golden floor
and i sobered up

years of cuts
scrapes to my already
scarred skin
constantly slicing in

memories were there
enduring
biting
shearing

drawning down my smoke
it was finished

the cherry had died

and i feel asleep
sans comfort

****
like i said, nothing special but its a nice let-go of crap.
(and theres a story hind it, if you really *gotta know*
check out a few entries back about me, tim and the dog
joke).

anyhow im off now.
much love
-aradia