FLiEs and LigHts
2003-05-02 09:05:50 (UTC)

sircles and kliches

I think I am overdoing my running. but it's the only thing
i do that can make me satisfied so I'll continue.
besides, no one knows. and I'm still in control.

I miss Thomas. He's in Germany. And I won't see him before
earliest on wednesday. I don't know how I'll cope, but I've
managed it from sunday, so I will be able to do it untill
wednesday as well.

He don't know what I feel for him. I don't even know if I
want us to be togheter, you know, I wanted before, but
now I just want us to be togheter, but not in the sence
that he is my boyfriend. I think I'll ask him to come away
with me to Oslo. That we'll run away. Or maybe to Bergen.
For some days. And that we wont tell anyone. i think that
in that way I'll get to know him better.

But I told Allan that I wanted me and Thomas togheter and
he said go for it. And I also told Allan I didn't could be
his sex friend any more, though I want to, cuz he's amazing
in bed. He respected that as well. Thank God. And he's been
very supporting this past week, when I have been completely
frantic. ANd now I know he's there for me. He's the best
friend I will ever have.

I think I'll throw up soon.