Lenore the fool

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2003-05-02 08:52:14 (UTC)

Continued thought

I'm now back in my room. Interesting day, my friends were
seemingly having sex basically all day. It's like that's
great you guys have fun, but come on I don't want to know
about it no need to rub it in the face of your friend,
your single friend at that. But when I'm longing for
someone it's not really the sex that I miss. I mean yeah
for a while i was having physical contact with drawls or
whatever you wanna call it. But what I really miss, what
I really want is the kisses. The holding, the laughing,
the understanding.
Interesting segway but one of my friend from the couple
asks me if i'll have sex with his friend. I was like uhm
sorry random sex isn't part of my life right now. I'd
have to like him and atleast be dating him not just sex.
He's like well *guy a* wouldn't be opposed to that. He is
actually looking for more of a companion anyway. I was
like oh well in that case maybe. *chuckles* I don't know
if he knew I was serious...because it's not that I'm
despriate there are a few reasons. We all have our
motives in life. But I've talked to this guy a few times
he seems nice enough. God i'm lame...but who knows..maybe
Nick will find me someone...the thing is I can get along
with everyone and basically anyone...I dunno how the world
feels about me. In the past I've been worrying that i'm
not attractive enough but after a friend that I trust
basically told me of this fact. So then comes the
question. So if I'm "hot" why don't I have anyone, why
don't I have anyone crushing/hitting on me? i always
thought I had a great personality really good
attitude..but now I dunno...maybe I'm boring, or i dunno.
I never thought I'd have to worry about that part of
me...fuck.
Sucks to be me I guess. Such a tragedy when I'm not
dating anyone. Cause so much is wasted, I've got such
skills, such talent, so much love and caring...and no one
to put any of this on. Oh well that's lifeI suppose.


Lenore


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