more human than human
2003-05-02 05:43:56 (UTC)


I'm at home...all alone and feeling incredibly alone.
You'd think that he would have called by now. He knows I
hate being here by myself. And that I had a long rehearsal
and want attention. Stupid boyfriends....why aren't they
telepathic? know....THOUGHTFUL. I blame
testosterone. If you can prove me otherwise, I dare you to
go ahead and try. You probably have my number.

Our dance rehearsal was really slow tonight, but when we
did the runthrough I thought I'd done great....I
remembered to smile, and I didn't screw up. Then I got
criticized...apparently I showed no enthusiasm, and I need
to find black tap shoes by saturday. Does anyone out there
want to spend over $100 on me? Didn't think so. And I have
no job, therefore no money. I have another rehearsal
tomorrow....this one will actually have an audience, and
it will be the first time Scott really sees me dance,
which makes me a little nervous. Then I have my audition,
a third rehearsal, and another performance on Saturday. my
GOD do I need a backrub. But Scott's tired, or sick, or
busy, or just doesn't feel like giving me one. Yet I'll
haul my ass out of bed to get him some fucking water at 2
in the morning. I love him to bits, I just wish there was
some way to get him to clue the fuck in without sounding
like a selfish bitch. Nevermind. I probably AM just being
a selfish bitch.

Fuck life.