2003-05-02 03:25:42 (UTC)

chopping block

So here I am. Head on the chopping block...completely
open, honest and VERY vulnerable. Hmmmm...what will he do
with this information? Will he tack this to all his
already impending fears and push me away...even if not
now...later? I guess its the price you pay when honesty
is you primary concern. Also, It might have been better
to share such a horrible secret a long time ago. Cuz if
he crucifies me now I will be devastated. If that turned
out to be the ultimate punishment for my crimes (losing
the one person I've ever really loved) my sins would truly
be atoned for...and yet...the concept of mercy and
forgiveness would be lost to me forever. I beg God for
mercy...its all i have. Cuz I am nothing without Jesus.

Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "turn the other
cheek". I am in HIS hands. I know what I deserve. But I
also know that the blood of Jesus is ENOUGH.