Elisa

Lithas Boring Babble of Endless Crap
2003-05-01 21:48:15 (UTC)

lately

alright so last night me and jason were talking on the
phone about everything under the sun. and i dont really
remember what lead to it but he was telling me how much he
loved me and it was so sincere and from the soul and i just
couldnt help but cry. i never ever thought i would find
anyone who loved me, let alone love me like he does. i was
so happy i was crying. i just dont think anyone understands
how serious this relationship is, i love him so much i feel
like i have known this man for years upon years. and i
seriously in my heart believe we will be together forever.
i think that is something he wants as much as i do, he told
me last night that he always only wanted to be married once
with no divorce and thats what i have always wanted too. i
have never felt like this before, so loved so cared about.
i just feel like for once everything is going to be ok, and
everything will go good for me. i believe in karma and
everything is just so good right now i want to know what i
did to deserve this most wonderful loving handsome caring
funny smart man. he is everything i could ever ask for in a
person and i have him, why me? i just dont understand. it
feels like a dream and i feel like one day im going to wake
up and it will all just disappear. i dont want that to
happen. ever. it seem like my whole life i have had my own
personal little rain cloud that followed me around and
comstantly rained on me. now, theres not a cloud in the
sky, its allways a clear blue. im not complaining. it just
seems like a dream because i spent the first 20 years of my
life under that rain cloud and now its not there anymore,
but sometimes i feel like it is lurking in the shadows,
getting ready to hover over me again. i dont want that, i
want my baby to stay with me forever. there are only two
people who know me better that jason and thats my mom and
my best friend lindsie next on the list is jason...i have
known lindsie for years and i havnt even known jason for 2
months yet. i dont even care anymore because it feels like
we have known eachother forever. i cant help but live him,
he says i am the only preson who let him be himself in
forever, but thats the man i fell in love with, i dont want
him to ever change. anything. i love him so much, even the
thought of him leaving for a couple of months to california
made me break down. the only person i have ever cried so
much over is my mom. happy or sad tears. i refuse to lose
this man, i just dont know how to express to anyone the
feelings i have for him, there is no way, there are no
words, there never will be, i just wish everyone could know
how i feel, even if only for a few brief minutes, i wish
everyone could know. but they never will, the only way to
prove how much i love him to them is tell them to look at
us in 60 years...i think we will still be together, there
is no other thought in my mind, i just love him so much, i
dont know how else to say it, there are no words, even if
there were, they still wouldnt be enough to show how much i
love him.

~*litha*~

"...we cant hide the truth, we know eachother better...i
havent felt like this in god knows how long...so baby baby
stay right where you are, i like it this way, its good for
my heart..." stay gone - jimmy wayne




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