Lenore the fool

Steal this diary
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2003-05-01 20:35:21 (UTC)

long time no type

It's been a long time since I used this place to express
my thoughts. i have a journal or what ever you want to
call it that i write in, but that's more just free thought
poetry and the actual action of writing is what i need.
But here i can use complete sentences....sort of and
"I wanna fall in love tonight" How manysongs have I heard
that term in recently. A lot...And I know that's what I'm
looking for. I'm looking for a companion, an anchor,
someone to love me. Someone for me to love, someone to
hold me, after I'm done holding everyone else up. Some
one to hold and get lost in them for a little while. I
don't have this magical person. This magical person I can
finally let go with. Let them take care of me for a bit.
I know I'm letting myself go to shit...and as my friend
told me if he was my boyfriend he'd be arguing with me and
making me take care of myself, but as my friend all he can
say is that he hopes i will. And I like that. I like
that no one can make me do shit. But at the same
time...all I live for is giving to other people...and I
feel a strong need to be able to give myself fully to
someone now and to be someones hope, that person they turn
to because they need help....
I need to go...I wish I could keep tyoing and
thinking...but right now I can't....I must go encourage
people to have safer sex...