I'm a girl, not a band!!!
2003-04-30 22:16:31 (UTC)

Pissed, Sad, and Disappointed

Yes. I am all of those things today. Work is getting
worse. There are too many people looking over my shoulder
at what I am doing and there are others who shove their
shit off on me. The time for moving on is rapidly
approaching. But where? To what? I have nothing. No
education, no experience, nada. Fucked, basically.

I also made plans to go do something with a friend from
work tomorrow. She is leaving for Texas just over a month
from now. And I'll miss her. So, I made plans with her to
go do something fun. I made these plans last week. Well,
she was seriously ill this past Monday and missed work and
decided to trade tomorrow with someone else so he can go
to the doctor and she'll work for him. I realize that she
needs the money for food, rent, etc. and I have a little
more liberty in that I don't pay for any of that. But the
fact remains that I was basically shafted. This is two
days in a row that I've had plans and then shit happened
so that I couldn't follow through with them. I mean, I
have such a little life as it is, why does it rain on me?

I feel like I'm trying so hard to be normal and go out and
not stay at home in bed like I want, but it's getting
worse and worse. I really don't see the point of walking
out my front door. *sigh* I don't have any friends here to
do stuff with, and the two people closest to me are in
London and California respectively. I miss my friends

I know this entry is sad and pathetic. Because that is how
I feel right now. And yes, I know things will look up. But
I'm not ready to be looking up now. I want to wallow. For
a very long time.

I miss my friends.