duhs world
2003-04-30 22:02:53 (UTC)

confused but straight

i am confused about different things. i am confused if i
should keep tring to get my goal. one minute it hink so
then the next its like no. my feelings are going away for
this guy i really like and its scaring me but i think its
the best thing. but then i dont know if i should be happy
or sad about it. i cry less and less about everything. but
then i see him go off with these nastey girls that he wants
and probley get hurt but then he gets these girls i know he
could get and that hurts. then i am fine cuz i know that i
can probley find someone better but i care for him. then
he gets my hopes up it seems and hes alwasy mean to me in
front of his friends and when we r alone hes all like yea.
so that confuses me. then he would rather hang otu with
people that wont give him anything and not hang otu with
someoen who actually cares and that woudl give him
everything that he wants but i guess being nice and doing
stuff for them is out. i am thinking i am goign to give up
and just go with it like i have been. i am tired of beign
called a slut and shit liek that but i guess i have to deal
but atleast ia m not a slut that doesn't know what she
wants. who knows??? i will never know until i am
confronted with the problem anmd that is solved. i love
him adn no one will ever change that. and i knwo he hates
it when i say how i feel but if its the truth y hide it
right. unlike some girls in this city i dont lie about the
feelings i have and the strong ones inperticular and thats
the truth. i love someone and that will never change
unless 2 things happen: 1 they lie to me to get what they
want adn 2 if they go and cheat on me. but i dont know
whats the truth and whats not i knwo this guy likes all
these girls and i am scared he will get hurt but i guess he
doesn't care about it cuz he just keeps goign to them and
leaving the one who really cares in the dust well i will
clean up after those bitches like always. okay i am done