StArDuSt

misery....
2003-04-30 16:31:12 (UTC)

lost sheep secrets I keep under lock and key..someone help me

the above lyrics are from a videodrone song featuring jon
davis and it's called "ty jonathan down"..
I love the lyrics to this song, I used to consider it my
theme song...the lyrics are as follows:
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Fifteen pure and clean, innocent
Lost sheep secrets I keep under lock and key
Someone help me

So look at me you're like a superstar
I can impress your mind I swallow
Sorry sorry
I'm so scared so I try
I confide in nothing I just hide

Lips meet sickness repeats all over again
Upset forget we met want to wish it away
Only if I could

So look at me you're like a superstar
I can impress your mind I swallow
Sorry sorry
I'm so scared so I try
I confide in nothing I just hide

Some things are better left unsaid
Some things are better forgotten
Some things are better left unsaid
Some things are better forgotten

No one will ever understand me
No one to hold my hand

I got you, I hold you
I take you on one hell of a ride
I'll break you, I'll make you
In your head you can't hide

Some things are better left unsaid
Some things are better forgotten
Some things are better left unsaid
Some things are better forgotten
************************************************************
Videodrone was basically the band orgy before jay gorden
came along...anyone who actually reads this I highly
recommend checking this band out.sadly enough they are
broken up, but dispite this, their only alblem, the self
titled one is one of my favorite cd's.
************************************************************
This is her second day late.It's strange since her sonogram
matched up with her estimated due date...yet now it's april
30th and she remains internal.I'm scared....not of the pain
(I'm seriously looking forward to that part actually...and
I'm taking no drugs), but I'm scared of raising her alone
and I'm petrifyed of who she'll call dad..Samhain tells me
I should let her choose her father, but if she does that,
jesus she could be calling my brother "dad".
************************************************************
As for Samhain, I'm seriously done with all of this.I need
not worry about some fantasy romance or the next time I'll
be getting some ass (I don't mean to think about that, but
the tail end of pregnancy has the "I want rough animal
sex.." effect)...those things should be petty to me and be
the way least of my worrys.If it ignites, it ignites, if
the flame that exists only in my mind, burns out and I
can't find any matches, then so be it.I'm not changing
feelings for Samhain, that would be quites impossible to
do, I'm just saying I'm resigning for now with the
questions and the wondering and the wanting...(well maybe
not the wanting)....his move.But how simple is it for a
stone statue to move a petrifyed limb?
************************************************************
GRRRRRRRR MY FUCKING CD IS SKIPPING>>>>>>>>
************************************************************
*thinks...what will today consist of?
When sarah gets here, her, her son nathyn, and I will walk
done to the gas station to try to put me into labor.
(walking is supposed to help that)
When we come back here it'll be maury, jerry springer, and
maybe one or two of those graphic birth tv shows.
3:30 the health department lady will come over to once
again judge my personality to see if I'm going to beat my
child.(of course I would not, but she can't figure that out)
4:30 my home instruction will probaly begin and it'll take
me an hour to do 2-3 hours of work...where as then the home
instructor will say "GoodGirl! You make my life easy" then
credit me for 2-3 hours then leave....
As for the rest of the nite I'll probaly be laying around
here wondering if Samhain will stop by and wondering if
I'll go into labor....
I'll get back online around 10ish after I take a bath with
black rasberry bubbles...
Then I will go to my room and watch cheers and three's
company reruns on nick at nite until I can no longer keep
my eyes open....
All of this is sad...what happend to a life I once had, I
used to do things that were at least semi entertaining and
was completely spontaneous...
I don't feel sorry for myself though.
************************************************************
I'm going to go apply sunscreen to my aenemic looking face.
I don't want a tan or freckles walking down to AC&T.I'd
rather stay pale...it gives me more character.(I can't get
tan actually but still)




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