forever changing
2003-04-29 23:41:45 (UTC)


hmmmmm well this has been an interesting weekend/ begining
to the week. well on sunday i went to the movies with mike
and tessa and well durring the movie mike kissed me! and
mike hates to kiss, he only kisses poeple he really likes,
so i was really shocked. well later that night he called me
to see if i wanted to persue it or anything, but i was
watching a really good movie so i told him i would call him
back on monday when i got off work. this also gave me some
time to think about it. and i came to the decision that
even though i am interested in him i don't want to get into
a "relationship" with him at the moment because i don't
want a serious relationship right now and i know that he is
not into meaningless month long relationships. so when i
called him back last night that i s what i told him and he
asked where i would like to go from here so i told him that
i want to get to know him better and to hang out sometime.
and he agreed that friendship is the base of a good
relationship and so we ended up talking for about an hour
and a half until i had to get off the phone. it is probably
one of the greatest conversations that i have ever had just
because i felt like he was really letting me get to know
him. he is so awesome. he asked me what would drw me into a
relationship with him and i told him that i was drawn to
his personality because he has a unique veiw it is more
objective than others. then he told me what drew him to me
was the fact that i have convictions ( i am still a vergin
and i have never done drugs)which is rare in people today
and he was telling me how by goin against what everyone
else does and sticking to what i want to do is a rare and
good trait. he told me that he has respect for me because
of my convictons, and he does not have respect almost
anyone. it was so, i can't explain i was just thinking "wow
for once it is my unwillingness to have sex that is what is
why someone likes me" when we were talking he was telling
me how sex is not a big part of a relationship and in a
relationship it is about being happy just being in the
presence of the other person and i totally agree. any
relationship that is based on sex or physical attributes is
doomed to never reach a truely meaningfull emotional
connection. and that is what relationships are for, as mike
put it you can have a fuck buddy if you want, but that is
not a relationship. he is a very upfront person and he is
very intelligent. i really like him, but i am still unsure
of getting into an actual relationship with him. we talked
again earlier today and it was a different type of
conversation it was less deep, and more easy going. it was
great. he is so much fun to talk to.