Eyes of a fallen angel

Just another Disturbance
Ad 2:
2003-04-29 15:41:06 (UTC)

He is the One...

He hurts me once again
The calls cease to exist
He put me through too much pain
maybe not as much physical
but more emotional.
He is the one that puts the unwanted thoughts in my head
The thoughts that tell me,
Im not worth any of the love I get
I am not worth the friends i have.
The thoughts that say,
why are you so stupid? and
why did you fail again
He makes me think
I have failed in the world,
And
I will never become anything more than what he is,
a damn failure that makes minimum wage.
I sit by the lake and wonder...
"Why do i let him get to me?"
"What is the matter, it's his loss"
right?
Than I think,
it's not just his loss
it's mine also.
I miss out on a "normal life"
one that consists of a father and a mother.
I try not to let the emotional pain exceed through my smile,
But i break down,
NO longer,
I can't take anymore of it.
I think to myself
"I hate you"
"I love you"
why do i think i love the man that is called my father?
I wish i could cause him half the pain he causes me.
Tell him that he's the failure
NOT ME
Tell him to his face,
"YOUR THE ONE THAT FAILED AT THE 2 ULTIMATE THINGS IN LIFE"
You failed at being a father because I never truly
considered you one.
And
You failed at LIFE in general
Know this now,
You will NEVER EVER be half the father you say you are.


Ad:2