Ashes-to-Dust

*Candyland*
2003-04-29 04:00:16 (UTC)

changes

jenni read my journal today....
then she called me and she sounded kind of sad....
i asked her what was wrong, and she said that she didnt
realize how in love with vanessa i actually was, and that
she was worried that i would be thinking of vanessa when i
was with her....
theres more to it than that, but im not going to go into
detail.....
i cant blame her for feeling this way, and i really care
about her a lot so it upset me that she was upset about
that...
and i had this really bad feeling in the pit of my
stomach.... like fear.....
fear that she was going to push me away because of the
whole vanessa thing....
but i assured her that she had nothing to worry about....
and she doesnt....
i told her if vanessa were to come over to my house i
wouldnt do anything with her.....
and i wouldnt....
i wouldnt do something like that to jenni....
i couldnt...
and later on chris told me that jenni had called him and
she was crying....
:( i felt so bad...
i really like her a lot
i dont want her to cry....
especially bacause of me......

****things are changing so quickly****

i read over my journal tonite.....
it sounds so stupid to me now....
drooling over vanessa like a lovesick puppy dog, waiting
for her to come and pet me....
grrrrr...
this is a stupid entry....
so im going to stop....
goodnight...

-A.M.




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