The psychotic harlequin

HarLequin tales
2003-04-28 13:44:45 (UTC)

perpetual reclusion

i miss my friend... his nick is BlackMilK. We met through
chat. I'd usually see him like at 3am in the morning, which
is usually how long I'd be online when I still had the
power of my hack account... they changed the password i
think, suspecting that somebody has been deliberately over
using it thus making them lose countless amounts of money...

According to mIRC seen system, he hasnt been online for 2
weeks and a couple of days... how could that be possible...
i used to see him a lot before he talked to me... He
understood what I did... he knew what I did... and vice
versa...we listen to the same rock music... we know the
same shit... he smokes pot... and the last time I talked to
him was when I smoked weed... I wonder if that was it... I
was out of the home planet then... dammit...

He's a regular at that... he says his brain is already
beyond help because it has already turned into a bowl of
soup...

I do hope he's not dead...

Damn this earth and everybody in it, why is it that the
people that I get along with, which is not quite a number,
disappear into the dark chasms of nothingness? And those
who I want to die and disappear never really do?

This is my curse... in return for my gift that is my dark
soul... I'm probably damned to a life of empty
loneliness... my friends all wither away... though only a
handful...

And the only comfort... the only retreat I have is my
cold,black,padded cell... in my head... my recluse... where
I escape from the execrable rectitude that is my outward
self... where I scratch the disgust off my skin, washing it
off with my own blood... where I fondle with my beautiful,
shiny, blood-stained cutlery... in my reverie... I hold my
blood-stained hands close to its chilled, soft walls to
console,until I feel the need to scratch it away out of
hunger for more destruction...

I am forever sentenced to life in my cell... forever alone,
forever screaming out of lack of a companion... whom I can
take to my cell assured that he shall not flee from me at
the sight of it...

I do suppose no one would ever understand this... no one
will be brave enough to venture into the deep chasms of my
mind... not to tame but to seek the company of the
psychotic little harlequin girl... to be by her side
forever... heeheehahahaha....

And thus this existence goes on...

-the psychotic harlequin-




Ad: