ShadowDawn

aRegretfulSerenity
2003-04-27 04:05:44 (UTC)

Freakshow

thats it. im not going 2 be anyones friend anymore. no one
gives a shit anyways. no, i take that back. they DO give a
shit and they hate me for being a friend. of course they'll
say this and that and how they want me 2 be a friend. no
they dont. they want me 2 be their jester. they only want 2
be around me 2 get entertained, and everytime i actually
attempt 2 do anything that can be classifyed as "friendly"
(like being there for them and helping them with their
probs) they get angry at me and tell me 2 fuck off.
u kno, its fine if they want 2 have a few ppl they can hang
around with for laughs but never actually get close with.
the problem is, ALL my friends want that for me, so im left
here after performing this freakshow for them, standing
alone. thats all i am. a freakshow. whn ur out there on
that stage showing off for the audience, they all love you,
cheer u on. u have the attention of everyone in the room.
but afterwards, they'll all go home and forget about u. and
if u try 2 come up to them, they shun u, bc ur just the
freakshow. they love you as long as ur inside that cage,
several yards away. its everyone else that they truely love.
but i need love 2.
cant they see that? of course not. they dont see me outside
the show bc theyre 2 busy running from me they only notice
me whn they have their eyes fixed on me on that stage.
any and every time i try 2 be more than just a freakshow 2
them, they hate me.
and yet, they still call me "friend." and they still say
they get hurt whn i dont run 2 help them.

why cant they realize they are lying 2 themselves?




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