Nick's Journal
2003-04-26 19:55:19 (UTC)

What do you think?

so i think a lot when i walk. and i walk a lot. i love
wallking to class and getting lost in some inane string of
thoughts. apart from laughing when i catch a cow, donkey,
horse, or sheep's eye, i'm always thinking about
everything. i think about the people i know a lot and i
psycho analysis them. mainly this involves me imagining
them running away from a herd of guinea pigs (sorta like
that snapple commercial).
anyhow occasionally while i walk and think i also drink.
i am quite incapable of making the liquid go in my mouth.
inebriation doesn't help. i think about how horrible it
is to go to the weight room or bar high because you know
you always think someone's staring at you when your'e
high, the problem with these places is that people ARE
staring at you. usually you catch atleast 25 'roid rage
glares. 2 - couple, 5 - fingers.
anyhow, i like toilet paper. i mean i don't understand
when people go all jew crazy (dave)and buy single-ply.
basically you're holding your shit in your hand after 3
wipes. i understand if you jew yourself on other stuff,
like life insurance and baby food, but seriously....toilet
well dave had the idea that we should have that cow thing
going you know where you digest in one stomach and it goes
back and basically you're satiated for longer. so you eat
a shitload and store it. most people say they love eating,
i say those people are fat fucking bastards. eating is
like sleeping an urinating, sure you have to do it and it
wastes your life, but why wouldn't you want to delegate
these urges/needs to some drug or automaton. think of all
the ncaa football you could be playing during this time.
that's right. vital functions, get em outta here!
when i walk and think and drink, i also watch other
people. there was this guy that walked by me with his
sweater half off, over the forearms (as if he were about
to slip it over his head) but he just left it there.....i
see some people do that, have their clothes half off.
what's that shit? i mean i understand the utility of
other dumb things (visors, do-rags)but why would you wear
your clothes in some intermediate state? did their mother
just have to leave the house before they were done
dressing them?
so i walk and think and drink and watch and i also talk to
myself. i love doing that. it's not that i'm crazy or
that i want to surreptitiously insinuate that i'm
psychotic (cos some people actually proudly cultivate that
image), but just because i feel less lonely. i mutter. i
mutter everything.
nameless will remain nameless but he came into class
wasted. nameless is worthless. he's amorphous mentally
and physically. mind bending through states of low self-
esteem and pseudo-confidence dependenant on the drug,
chemical that facelessly triggers nameless's inhibitions.
his laugh hollow nothingness, an outburst of uncontrolled
anxiety, laugh it away, let it melt. don't think you're
cooler now, it's a delusion. sadly that state is
descriptive not normative. you're settled in a state of
fixed transience.?
fashion cats lighter died.