ObservantNefariousGuitar

Life: A Guide To Suicide
2003-04-26 05:45:38 (UTC)

2003-03-22 00:34:06 (GMT)

Fuck me!

Well it's 12.24am and i'm sitting here alone. Wanting to
chat to someone, actually have a meaningful conversation
with someone on how i'm feeling. Pritty self obsessed
aint
i!? I really need soemone now. If i can't have someone
to
care about and have em care about me, can't i have someone
who will treat me like shit. I just want anyone.

KICK ME
ABUSE ME
FUCK ME
CUT ME UP INTO PEICES
SHOOT ME
DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH ME!
I JUST WANT TO BELONG TO SOMEONE
Do anything, just acknowledge my existance. I really want
to die right now, but can't bring myself to lift that
knife
and cut through the viens in my wrists. WHY????????????

I'm so fucking pathetic. I don't even have any reason to
feel this way. I've fooled myself for so long, fooled
myself into beleiving i've been "mind raped". Fooled
myself into beleiving that i'm a victim of abuse, when
really i'm not. I never objected or fought back, so i
can't call that "abuse", how do i know that i didn't
actually enjoy it or want it?! POINT IS....I DON'T BLOODY
KNOW...I DON'T KNOW FUCKING ANYTHING! I'm a slut!

-Jacqueline
x




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