ObservantNefariousGuitar

Life: A Guide To Suicide
2003-04-26 05:42:38 (UTC)

2003-03-10 12:04:43 (GMT)

Fading Away...Gone

I can feel it all coming back. The confusion, the anger,
the need to slice my arms into peices just to watch myself
bleed...to watch and know it's all for real. Yeh...that's
the only logical explination i can come up with as to why
i
do it. Why i lock myself away in my room with various
sharp tools and cut myself up, not realising what i've
actually done until afterwards...when i see all the blood
flowing out. Running out of me, escaping along side all
the self hatred caged inside.

It's like i go into a little daze, my mind leaves me and
soemthing else takes over. Like going to sleep and waking
up after it's all been done. Guess it's like my whole
life
then. Forgotten! I slept through it all and only
recently
woke up. It would seem i'm still stirring in bed though.
Laying in until someone disturbs me and reminds me i've
got
to get up or i'm going to be late. Only it's not as
simple
as that, especially since nobody seems to have noticed i'm
still laying in bed and there's also nothing to be late
for.

Yeh...it would seem i am going back into my own little
world. The only place my mind can adapt to. The only way
i can survive. I want to be part of the rest of the world
and be able to study and have fun like the rest of the
teens my age but i'm stuck, caged in my own little world,
unable to escape. Screaming inside for help, but nobodies
taken any notice. I'm fading away. I have already faded
away. I'm gone...long gone!

-Jacqueline
x




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