Matt's Sex Journal
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2003-04-25 03:46:17 (UTC)


Lately my mind has been on girls more than anything else. A
couple of weeks ago my fraternity had the annual formal.
Instead of asking a girl from SC I went with getting set up
by my bro Swish (Devon).

I met the girl he was courting a wek before the event and
she seemed cool enough. I mean, she was honest, attractive,
and even bisexual. I had never been on a date with a girl
likew this before so I thought what the hell.

Now I'm going to cut and paste the whole story from an
email I sent to a friend of mine.

Yeah so formal is over, and here's the story:

As you know, formal took place in Santa Barbara this year.
You rent a tux and get a hotel room type of thing. I took a
girl who didn't go to my school who was a friend of a

Like I said before, I met her a week before formal, and
through that meeting found out the following-she is very
cute, bisexual, brutally honest, and has done a lot of

And I dug this about her.

She had so many interesting stories about things that I
absolutely had no idea about.

Anyway, I pick her up at her house in the valley, meet the
family, be a gentleman and we take off for SBI
don't even need the radio as a distraction, we talk the
entire drive up.

She liked my jokes and always laughed. I was somehow able
to relate to her despite the fact that we are exact polar

Whenever she would tell a story, I would follow up with
something similar.

It was amazing, I have never been able to do this when
talking to a girl before. I was so comfortable and didn't
need to think before I spoke because somehow we established
unconsciously that we weren't holding anything back.

So we arrive at the hotel, do the check in and there's 2
hours before the dance starts.

We just hang out in the room until 7, she smokes cigarettes
with my pal Jim and at 7 she heads to another room to get
ready with some more girls.

I shave and get dressed, feeling very confident about the
night. Sure, I ponder the idea of getting some but it
doesn't really matter. I'm on cloud nine.

Jim and I talk about it, he agrees that she is very chill.
She gets back to the room just as I was about to leave to
get her, and then we head to the balroom.

We're there at 8, right on time, but nobody's there. I
could have said, "you wanna go back and drink" but I
decided to stay in the room and talk.

People gradually trickle in and we continue to get along
great. I introduce her to everybody, and she gets a little
overwhelmed. We joke about how some of the
servers/waitresses look like lesbians.

We go back to the room to take shots and she smokes a few
times. We barely get back for dinner.

But I dont give a shit. We eat and the dance starts. She
doesn't dance unless she's drunk, so we go back to a
different room and I get her some tequila-her favorite.

She has a fair amount and we head back to dance, she's
still a little too sober so i buy her a GLASS of tequila
from the bar. We split it and she does this cute thing when
she curses her lips and blows her breath into my face right
after she takes a shot.

We finally dance, it's the swing song from the movie

She laughs a lot because I try and be like Jon Favreau (guy
in the movie). She laughs so much that she has to sit down.

Again, I dont care that much but I still wanna dance. I try
and get her to go but she insists that I dance with other
girls. I say that I dont want to.

I hear later from someone else that she thinks I'm
objectifying her by doing this.

She has to go to the bathroom and leaves. I don't see her
again until the dance is over.

She told me that she got lost in the hotel and ended up in
the other room we were in earlier.

While she's gone, I try and look for her in our room a few
times and just mope at the dance because I had no idea
where she was at the time.

I find her and get her to come back to our room. Jim's date
is already passed out on the other bed and Jim is gone to
the beach.So essentially, we're alone. I don't really think
about hooking up that much. I just wanna hang out with her
to make up for lost time.

We sit on the porch. She smokes a lot and drink a lot. A
lot of Coronas. Eventually, I get too drunk to listen to
all her stories so I get in the bed.

I'm on the brink of passing out so the chances of action
are zero. Right before I close my eyes I see her walking
towards the porch saying she was gonna have another

And that's the last time I saw her.

I wake up around 9 alone in the bed and there's a note on
my bag.

The note is on a dry cleaning hanger:

"Dear Matt, I'm really sorry to do this but I felt kind of
uncomfortble being here. I had a really fun time with you
tonight and I hope you enjoyed my company. I had to go
home, I felt sick and I just needed to be someplace where I
was comfortable. Thanks for a great evening, Erin."

My heart has fallen out of my ass at this point.

I pack up my shit, check out, and run into Devon in the
lobby. Devon is the one who set me up with her. I tell him
the story and he calls her for me.

She says that she wasn't comfortable around the other
girls, and she explicitly says that it was not my fault.

I drive home on the brink of tears, Diane calls me and
tries to cheer me up.

I've had this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach ever

So that's the story. I called her the Wednesday after and
she pretty much gave me the same excuse, that she was
uncomfortable and sick and wanted to go home. I still can't
ignore the fact that we had such a good time together, and
I'm seriously considering asking her out again.

In other news, I sent a letter to Ashley in Australia
yesterday and had a dream that she was "poof" my
girlfriend. So that was weird.

And I still long for the day when I can hook up with Alice.

I'm so desperately lonely.


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