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2003-04-24 23:51:49 (UTC)

you always come close but this never comes easy

it's been awhile...
let's start back a little bit. easter weekend.
thursday night i went to a movie with some friends and ran
into some old friends.
friday i had to go to my grandmas, saturday as well. on
sunday i came home from jacksonville, arriving at about
7ish. and not only is it easter but it is 420. so i try
and see what everyone's up to and keene tells me to come
over. so it ends up being me, keene, kyle, chris and
keene. we celebrate the holiday...me and chris each have a
shroom and then we all smoke a bunch. so after we were
smoked stupid. kyle drops me chris and keene off at keenes
house. now i was so high i dont know how it happened...but
next thing i know, me, keene and chris are on keene's
patio smoking out of a pipe with keene's mom. now she's
rolled us joints before but never smoked with us. it was
cool. well monday i had to shoot some stuff for a video
for tv pro. tues i had to go on a band field trip, it was
3 hours away, and i got to miss the whole day of school.
well the day started off good. i wasn't in a particularly
bad mood so i socialized at teh school. then there was a
tough decision. two buses...so i have a very hard
decision, this bus ride is going to be 3 hours late. well
i'm conversing with some people. and the worst thing that
could happen. the people i usually talk to in band, evenly
go on different buses. well since i'm talking to these
people now i'll just go on their bus... well i get on pick
a seat. since we had 2 buses it was not crowded, and i
kinda wish it was so at least i had someone to sit next to
me... well i put on my headphones and listen to tunes
basically the whole way there. it was ok, no it sucked.
but i had a purpose, we were going to state competition.
so we stop, lunch (nothing special), and then we get there
blah blah blah play blah blah find out we get straight
superiors (the highest you can get) blah blah so now we
start our 3 hour trek home. arrival time about 830? well
we stop of dinner at one point (again nothing special) and
we end up arriving at teh school at approximately 930. on
the bus ride home my batteries died about 30 sec. into my
first song. so i sat and did nothing. i was so bored, and
pissed at myself. i dont know, but everytime something's
not the way i think it should be i blame myself. well i
get home and go to sleep. i'm so mad...but i need to
straighten this out... when i say i'm mad i dont want you
to imagine me all flustered and red face and
screaming...no i show very few emotions. so if i'm mad i
just look sad. so basically i was sad to the untrained
eye. well anyways wednesday i had to finally go back to
school. it was normal day same as today. nothing too
exciting. i'm still mad (sad looking). i'm not too sure
why, but i know some components that add to it. some
people are unreliable. and others are just so gosh darn
random. i expect somethings from some people and they let
me down but on the other hand some people suprise me with
how much they do for me just out of kindness. or they're
bored and have nothing better to do then call me (or more
so me call them) and so i follow them to whatever they
have to do that day. anyways...i'm tired of writing, i
mean i cant describe my feelings which is frustrating,
which makes me more angry, and that's all i need right
now, to be even more mad. oh yeah prom is in two days.
woopie!(very very sarcastically)

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