Euphoric Nothingness
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2003-04-22 05:29:32 (UTC)

A Darker Reflection

You know it's been a really odd couple of days. A lot
seems to have happened while nothing has actually occured.
My mind is once again dangerously spinning and going wild.
Crazy things can happen when the head starts to go a

One thing that I have noticed is that people I know are
deciding to get married. My roommate and his longtime love
just got engaged. My good friend Travis's roommate is
engaged. Two of my work buddies that have been together
for 2 years are supposedly engaged. Man I hope tha people
don't start thinking that I should get engaged. Or even
seriousl date just to say that I am doing something. When
my time comes, I just hope that I know it and I can take
avantage of it.

Well I have been thinking more about my "Brandi Vision"
from yesterday's drive home. I am not sure what to think.
I was thinking about it some since I had 3 cancelled
classes and 2 videos. I am not quite sure what to make of
it. I am not even sure if it was Brandi that I saw. But
let me tell you this much. I am compelled by it and I am
not sure what to think of it.

You know I was thinking about The Destiny Theory and I
still feel as if it is true. I think that I will make a
huge contribution, but in some unorthodox way. I believe
that I may be a witness to an amazing historical moment
that will show me what exactly I am supposed to do. Either
that or else I will have another vision. However, I do
believe that it will be coming soon. But I do not know how

I am beginning to see an evolution process in me. I am
becoming someone that wants to know all that I can. I want
to explore and divulge into many things, including music
and religious texts. For example, I have recently become
very compelled by the life of The Doors singer and writer
Jim Morrison. I feel some connection to him like I was
destined to find his work and learn about him and feel some
emotional bond. I have always been compelled by the
Biblical book Revelations. I feel like I need to explore
these further and figure out what all they mean.

As the semester ends, we all tend to look back. I think
that I will look back and see the formation of The Destiny
Theory, personal growth and enlightenment, and the
realization that I need to change some things in my life.
I have also recognized what I have done to myself and how I
may have been holding myself back. All of these areas are
things that I need to work on over the next few months so
that I can maximize whatever impact I am supposed to have.

As I conclude this, I ponder why I have become a much
darker and shadier person. I also wonder why I seem to be
about the only one to notice. Maybe it's just me or maybe
it's just the world as I percieve it to exist...