The FEMALE Masked Avenger

How Low Can You Go?
2003-04-21 02:37:24 (UTC)

Life Pre-Diary

this entry is about me, pre-diary. i didnt have a
disgusting childhood, not the best, but not horrible.

my parents were separated for the first time when i was 5.
i remember writng I'M SAD on one of those mini-chalkboards
they gave us in kindergarten, and my kindergarten teacher
put it out in the hallway and almost cried when she saw it.
she thought i had written so good, so she put it in the
hallway. that was the beginning of my good student record.
they got back together when i was 6. i was a straight-A,
occasional B student until the 3rd grade. things got messy
with them again(not that it was ever really "neat". my
father NEVER laid a hand on my mother, but he laid his
hands everywhere else, hence, a hole in the basement door,
and a forever broken cabinet.) they got separated again
when i was in 4th grade, in november. i didnt even know til
a week later, b/c my dad had and still has his own
business, and worked for the gov't., so he was at work
alot. this really hit me bad, because while my older sister
was my mother's child, im the daddy's girl. actually, i
still am.

anyway, my grades, especially conduct, dropped in 4th
grade. Cs started showing up. i was in deep shit, as grades
are important to my family (both my parents were very
smart, and my older sister was too, so at first i was only
expected to do as good as her. then, as time progressed,
they saw i was smarter, if only by a little bit, and i was
pushed harder.)

my mom got a bf then...now my stepdad. i didnt like him.
i depsised him, actually. the worst part was, i had
moved my bedroom from downstairs across from my moms
bedroom to upstairs, but i still took baths in my
moms bathroom(it was bigger and cleaner than my sister's)
well, in order to get from the tub to my room, i had
to walk through the living room, where my mom and her bf were
watching tv CONSTANTLY. it bothered the hell out of me,
having to yell out "CLOSE UR EYES!" from the hallway and
then running past them in a towel.

in 5th grade i had a lot of bullshit w/ friends. of my
3 "best friends" only two actually liked me, and most
people resented me for being smarter than them(you see, in
elementary school, it was COOL to be a nerd, but not if you
kept getting everything.)plus, this guy i had liked since
kindergarten started going out w/ on of my actual true
friends. that really sucked, b/c i sat on the bus w/ them,
and of course they were cuddly. i had actually known him
before school b/c we were in the same neighborhood.
then i moved. i was gonna go to some small, country
middle school w/ only like 4 people that i knew, and move
away from all of my friends. every friggin one.

im kinda spontaneous, so i made friends fast, especially
this girl dawn, whos locker was beside mine. i knew her
combo before she did, so we got close pretty fast. (lol) i
met this boy john, who was absolutely adorable and lived
down the street. we were good friends, and still are. in
fact, he and dani are my best friends, even though he lives
in nebraska now.(ill ezplain later when im moping about it.
lol, i wrote "ezplain" instead of "explain". im gonna leave
that...lol i sound drunk.) well i liked tyler...tyler didnt
like me...you know how it goes, "boo hoo he wont go out w/
me my little 6th-grade heart is BROKEN FOREVER!" and then
the next year you get another big crush. well 7th grade's
crush was john, the little adorable kid. he was already a
good friend, and well...now we actually had classes other
than homebase, and we got real close(no, not that way) i
got him hooked up w/ my friend ashton(girl) and then
relize, shit, im like him a lot. come to find out when may
rolls around that hes moving to nebraska to move w/ his mom
(divorce really really sucks). so i sobbed, and threw up,
and upset myself, finally he moved at the end of june. we
never got a chance to go out, but i found out soon after e
moved that he liked me since the 6th grade too. wow it
sucked. and people thought that he and i were going out
even when he adn ashton were going out. now, everyone still
associates him w/ me. my friends and i have decided no
matter how many guys i like, i will eventually marry john.
our babies would just be so damn cute.
well i already had figured i had seasonal depression since
4th grade. maybe b/c of my parents splitting up, maybe b/c
of light deprivation. well, this year, i was really bad.
january i lost ten pounds. and dean helped me to look on
the brighter side of SOME things...though im still
clinically depressed.


and well, thats my life before the diary. lol, kinda like
Behind the Scenes with Alex.


love to all.
the female masked avenger




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