Marco Jacksonovic

Crazy What You Could've Had
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2003-04-20 15:41:32 (UTC)

*Slow, Haunting Piano Music* (If you know Henry Mancini's Windmills Of Your Mind, Then That)

Funny how things happen, how days and moods change, how a
sunny afternoon, a sunny outlook can change as the night
draws in, how that that makes things seem so big and bold
during the day paints a bubble around you at night.

So it was on Friday. I felt a little bit like I was
trapped in a Sam Spade book (of which, I wonder if I can
find any online. That'd be great for a holiday read) with
the orange glow of Leeds all around me. It wasn't quite
claustrophobia, but it felt distinctly unpleasant. I'd had
a few drinks, so I took the opportunity to sit and just
watch things happen around me, people doing what they do,
saying what they say - I felt, not not part of it, but
separable.

I wound up lying on the grass looking up at the stars, but
not so much the stars but all the gunk that separates us
from them (from my pet favourite - the waste light bubble)
and listening to Out Of Time by blur, a tune that really
fits that kind of thinking.

There's no special power when I look at the stars, I don't
recognise any of them, and though I know how big they are,
and how far away, I have no trouble coming to terms with
it, its just that feeling of wanting to go away - just to
be on your own with nothing, just to see how it feels.
Just to know.

You can't do it of course, and I didn't. But it did make
me slow down a little. (Yes. Twas possible. And probably a
good thing).

WILT? Some Medieval Dance. Quite nice, too.


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