*MaNMaDeOFaSHes-

My Perfect Waste of Time
2003-04-19 22:45:23 (UTC)

I am suffering....

Home sweet home
away from the only place
that still feels like a home
that is my parents home

My home in Twain Harte
consumed by insanity
and my mentality
is suffering

I am suffering

My soul scorched in flames
the flames of her desires
gone un answered my me
Because I dont posses the same feelings
I dont see what she does in me

I can see
Her insides are ugly
rotting flesh surrounds her bones
though covered with superficial beauty
her outside to me no longer shows

Her eyes filled with hate
complimented by her expression
her evil insides
her dark obsessions

and I am suffering

My mind is suffering
with these ugly thoughts of her
and she is numbing me
she is filling me
with the same hate she projects on me
and it is working
I know it is working
because I do indeed
see what she sees

Her hate filled eyes have filled mine
now mine are ugly
I am discoving
I am ugly
I have become numbing
I am becoming uncivil
I feel like I hate her
I feel her same evil
I am the dark obsession

and because of all this

I am shuting myself down now
empty goodnights to everyone

she will never have a glimse again
closing myself off from her
I suppose it was meant to happen
good things always hurt
I hurt
my face pressed into the dirt
with blood on my mouth
I know
I will make it through this somehow

but for now
I use words

and I do apoligize for sounding so absurd
and I was so sure
that I was ending these words long ago
always seeing the ending
can you see the endings?
but I believe in nevers......

?




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