thea

the semi-secret life of thea
2003-04-19 01:14:14 (UTC)

So it's finally been done

Got rid of our stuff today. No more cutting, how scary.
It didn't work out like i had expected at all. I thought we
were going to get all emotional and cry and be all blech
about it. But we just threw everything away, said "well
that sucked" and that was it. It was strange...Surreal
almost. *blink*. It doesn't seem like i even did it. I wish
i had looked in the box before i threw it out though, there
was neosporin in there. I could use some of that about now.
Well, hopefully this all works out. It took balls to throw
that stuff out, we were brave. And we will win, we can beat
this shit. *nod*. It was weird; at one point i looked in my
bag and realized that there was a razor blade in there. I
went "EEEE" and threw it out too. *shudders* it was creepy.
Oh yeah, threw out my food diary too. I read it for the
first time today. Some of it kinda freaked me out...There
was days when i only had a bowl of cereal and a piece of
toast. It's scary. Today I was feeling awfully lightheaded,
since it was around 3:30 and i hadn't eaten yet. I got a
sub, and surprisingly ate the whole thing. I thought i was
going to pop :). Yeah, so it was weird today. I can't
believe we got rid of that stuff. Lordy, that's so scary.
*shakes head*. It sucks even more that i'm in the mood to
cut. I could if i wanted to, but this was the one big step
to help me stop. I never want to do it again, well, of
course i do, but i won't. *sigh* I'm such a pansy, listen
to me rambling on. I'm going to spare you all the misery of
listening to me, G'day to you and yours, ~a scared me




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