Mrs_Goodbar28

Lyrics of a Soul
2003-04-18 06:57:31 (UTC)

Isn't It Ironic?

Isn't it ironic that as soon as I find myself
interested in someone (who liked me as well), they have
already found someone else. Why does this keep
happening? Is it me or some kind of curse? I had the
worse news brought to my attention Saturday nite when Jay
told me that the Pres.'s mystery girl is Terry! I could
have died! I was at a loss for words for the longest
time! I just stood there gaping b/c I could not close my
mouth! As I thought about it, it all started to make
sense, but then I wanted to slap myself! Thinking about
all the times I had been seeing them together. All along,
I'm thinkin', all this time he was with the one girl, who
I had just told about my crush on him. I had just told
the one person I was unknowingly growing jealous of about
my crush on her lover! That's some ironic type shyt! Of
course, I could lie and say I was drunk or joking when I
said it, but it may be too late to take it back. And
besides, I haven't seen Terry since the meeting Monday
nite, where I noticed the Pres. practically ran to the
seat next to her.
Now I'm just blown away b/c I keep wondering, will I
ever have a chance with him? WHat would I do with him if
I could? Are they (the Pres. and Terry) serious? How
long has this been going on? And wondering that had I
hooked up with the Pres., would we be in the same type of
relationship? Also, what will they do when she leaves?
This past weekend has been so emotionally challenging and
tumultuous for me. Shakespeare was gone, so it would have
been the perfect time to move in on the Pres., but I
remember the VP making comments about his relationship
with Terry being real and special. But, of course, none
of that happened.
The Pres. and I flirted and played with eachother a
bit, but now that I think about it, I remember seeing him
with Terry all the time. Then, Friday nite, when Doc came
over to "see my pajamas," I really got confused. Mainly,
b/c I don't want to hurt Shakespeare, but at the same
time, I don't really WANT him! So, when Doc came over
that nite and agreed to stay the next nite (I still don't
know why I asked him), I got all sexually charged, to make
it worse, I always get horny when I'm on my period, so I
was definitely on one! So, that would have been my excuse
had he actually shown up Sat. nite, but to my
disappointment, when I called, he said he'd be studying.
And all I wanted to do was cuddle, have another body in my
bed, that's all!
Anyway, Friday nite, when he was there, I was so
tempted! They weren't lying when they said the flesh is
weak, b/c if it weren't for me making a previous phone
call to the Cheerful One before he came over, our touching
would have become kissing and Lord knows what else! I was
horny, so I was talking trash and he kept challenging it.
But I stayed on the phone with the Cheerful One until he
left, or rather, as I pushed him out the door. He kept
touching my hips and nipples and massaging my thigh, but I
remained strong with the help of the Cheerful One, who
kept me laughing and from getting in the mood, while he
was there. He even said she sounded like my conscious
speaking.
After he left, I told her about my disastrous nite at
the dance, where I embarassed myself by letting the Pres.
know I had a crush on him, with the help of Mouse, who was
actually the one to tell him. I was worried that maybe I
have broken the circle and therefore, I would no longer be
included in their group to come over and hang out. I
really do wish to God that I liked Shakespeare as much and
in the same way he desires me, but I don't and I can't
control that. I didn't realize I missed him until late
Sat. day, which I openly admitted to Kay, who just shook
her head and said the old saying, you don't know what you
got til it's gone. But still, I wasn't saying I wanted
him, I just missed his presence, that's all. Then, when I
saw him Monday, I felt happy, but guilty b/c of all the
times this past weekend I had yelled at the Pres. and the
VP for calling me Shakespeare's girl, and b/c of that
visit from Doc last Friday.
Today, I saw him again, and he said he hadn't called
me back yet b/c he's had exams this week. He didn't call
me tonite either b/c Jay reported to me, they went out
clubbing. He seems colder to me and I feel it's all my
fault. I feel like he's mad at me, but I don't know what
to do about it. I guess I'll just wait til he comes
around and feels like talking to me again. Until then, I
have broken the circle and thus, cut off from hanging out
with the Pres., the VP, and Shakespeare at their house
anymore. And I thought we were goin' to have so much fun
this summer! We'll see how that goes though...until next
time, live, love, life!




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