Blue Rosar

Song in Blue
2003-04-16 19:46:03 (UTC)

Thin Patience

The last week or so has really been wearing my patience
thin and is starting to get to me like very little tends
to. First the crap with the country club hiring someone to
take my place because they think with my taking summer
school I won't be reliable enough. So because I can't be
on call 24/7 for those bastards I'm being punished eevn
though everyday they tell me how wonderful of a job I'm
doing and that they hope I'll stick around after the summer
when my school schedule is more to their liking. Fuck them!

Then yesterday those bastards down the hall didn't even
bother to show up for the meeting with Lori so now this how
harassment thing is being drawn out so much more than it
needs to be because they can't face up to what they've been
doing and deal with it like men, instead they're running
and hiding like little boys. Fuck them too! And now I
have to worry how far their going to take things, I
honestly doubt that they are mature enough to just accept
their punishment for wrong doing and let it be done.

On top of that all my Dad still isn't bringing anything in
at home and things are coming to a quick boil there. It
seems like everything fucking thing that can be going wrong
at this point, is. The only thing that does seem to be
holding together right now is Joe and I, even though things
there aren't perfect right now either. He's starting to
wonder about the "what ifs" and "what might've beens"
abouthim and Duane. I don't begrudge him this at all, it
was my fault after all that those things even started to
emerge between them two...but still, doesn't mean I have to
be all smiles about it. I told him I'm his boyfriend and
not his jailor and I can't (and likely wouldn't) stop or
blame him if he decided he needed to find out the answer to
those questions. He really does deserve better than me,
espeically right now when I'm walking a tight rope with
everything else that's going on.

::Sigh:: I guess all I can do about any of this is to hold
on as best I can and see things through to the end...come
what may.




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