thea

the semi-secret life of thea
2003-04-16 01:25:38 (UTC)

bruises and thea wars

So the theas were having a bit of difficulty today.
Fight fight fight, bitch bitch bitch, blah. I took out my
box and messed around with everything in it. I cut my wall
all over instead of cutting myself. I wish i hadn't, i'd
have rather cut myself. Now my dad is going to be pissed
about the wall. I dropped one of the blades out of my box
and thought i had lost it. I cried. It was screwed up. I
freaked out "no! i lost you! oh my god, did i really lose
you!" and other nonsense that involved me talking to an
inanimate object. How am i going to ever get rid of those
things if i can't even stand the thought of loosing one in
my own room? Lordy
So the theas were at it all day. Lordy were they ever. I
just couldn't muster happiness. I could break free of them
and be just one solid being. Even now they're fighting. One
is just yelling to go cut it all away. Can i cut the other
theas out of my life that way? *ponders this*. Perhaps i
will. I shouldn't, but perhaps i will.
I bruised my legs up today. I just hit them a few times
with a book. And my fist. Hit. Hit. Hit. Not bruised yet,
hit some more. And so on. It's just not the same as
cutting. I need to cut damn it. I can't take it. I can't
take it. God.
G'day to you and yours. ~me or one of the other various
theas, who the hell knows...




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