Dr Cats

today is the greatest day
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2003-04-15 13:43:13 (UTC)

another "meh" kind of day

I have a poetry exam tommorrow.. sheeeesh... I hope I can
find some inspiration while I'm sitting in that big room...
ah.. I'll be fine. Hmmm... today was quite "meh". I watched
the Taxi Driver and prepared to write a review on it, umm
and I wrote my answer to my weekly question for Creative
Industries. Hmmmm I spose you can tell that I had an
unbelievably cool day. I went to worship practice tonight,
heheh, everybody prayed for me to get a job. I spose the
reason why I haven't gotten one yet (a better one that is
seeing as I still work Saturdays at Amazing Paints) is that
I am so scared of falling into a complacent lifestyle of
work, study, work, study, and just have no time left for me
to write, create, work on performance. I mean I don't want
there to be no time for me to not be able to do what I want
to do for the rest of my life. I would hate myself for
letting that happen to me. So I suppose that is my fear. I
just pray that I will get a job that won't destroy my
artistic passions, or even better, I pray for a big break.
Oh that would be so cool. For me to just be able to act, or
write, or make films, or play music or whatever one my big
break is suiting.. for the rest of my life and get paid for
it! oh man... I just want to do that. Why did I have to be
passionate about such a depressing career choice. It's just
so hard.. it really gets me down sometimes. But the truth
is that I just love it so much. Acting on a stage is the
most ultimate rush for me. I can hardly explain that
feeling, it is so superb. Standing on stage, every single
eye in that room focused on you. It's like this awesome
power were you take another person on a complete experiece,
where they can experience immense sadness or uncontrollable
laughter all due to the illusion that you have created. I
truly feels like magic. It may sound as though i am over-
romanticising it, but I'm not. That's exactly what it feels
like. I know that I am a passionate person, but yeah, I
love being passionate. I'm even passionate about the fact
that I am passionate. Though it does make me quite
melancholy some times. Hmmm I really have so many things
that I want to say about Gab tonight. But I can't because I
don't want her to read it. And that sux cos this is my
diary. I just need to write down here that I wanted to say
a lot of things about Gab tonight but couldn't because I
was scared. Oh and Gab if you are reading this don't get
paranoid or freak out.I miss you like crazy and I've been
craving your presence so much recently. I love you. You are
a Beautful person. THE END.


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