Diary of an American Witch
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2003-04-15 01:20:25 (UTC)

As we sit in the sun

Im starting to run laps tomorrow, and Im actually excited.
Every morning I look into the mirror, and I see new and
good things about myself, and the flaws that I see don't
bother me, because I know I can fix them.
For the first time in my life, I feel totally in controll
of my fate, and there is nothing that can hold me back.
For the longest time I have been praying for a way out, but
now I know that the way out of this prision I have built
for myself, is to reach out, and open the door.
I wake up excited about the day to come, and when I say my
morning dedication durring meditation, I grin, because I
can feel the Mother smiling down on me. I see, and am
thankfull for all the little blessings that are bestowed on
me each day, and I can feel the magic in a glass of water.

It's as if my eyes are finally open, and now I can see
what, before, I could not. I have lead a charmed life, a
life of little blessings. The Mother has always been
watching over me, she has always been speaking to me, I was
just too involved in my own sorrow to notice.
I think I might learn to play guitar. I have always wanted
to, I even had one once, but I was always too scared of
looking like a fool to take lessons. But that fear is gone
now. I have proven to myself that I can do anything I set
my mind to. It is as if the spring sun has burned away the
black cloud around me, and now Im sitting in the light.

I laugh now. I laugh when I succeed, I laugh when I fail.
And when I think about all the bitter, hateful, people that
have hurt me in the past, I just shake my head and
smile. "They will understand, someday." I think.

I hope someone out there is reading this. Even one person,
because I want people to know that it can be done. You can
change yourself without betraying yourself. Of course,
you have to find your own road, but if you can speak to
your soul, and if you can accept the "wrong" things, and
actively change them, then you are already half way there.

Until that time,
Happy Thinking!