Jenna

Mind numbing thoughts...
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2003-04-14 22:34:00 (UTC)

man oh man what a mother fucking roller coaster.....

Well if it seems its too good to be true it most likely is,
a lesson taught to me early by my parents, but what about
when it seems comfortable, not too good, not too bad, why
then does it usually turn sour????? I'm so confused rite
now, i have no clue how i'm staying sane. My boyfriend and i broke up
on wednesday, cuz i never saw him, at all, and
then a guy gave me his # and i don't kno if its too soon,
blah blah blah, man i just wish life were so much simpler.
My best friends are the only ones who keep me from jumping
off a building. But my problems seem so minute and stupid
when compared to other peoples and i feel stupid and bad
b/c i sit here complaining when they go on with their lives
and try to cope the best they can. I kno i don't have it as
bad as i cud have, and yet sometimes i think i play on it
too much and portray it to be worse than it is. I dunno,
yes my parents are always on my case about clothes and shit
like that, but at least they don't hit me, and so what me
and mike broke up, and least we're still trying to be
friends. I find in my life rite now that i'm taking what i
have for granted and i'm ashamed of it, because i've got
much more than others and yet i'm still not happy???? why
not??? am i just that self indulged that when one minute
thing goes wrong in my life i give myself the rite to be
completley oblivious to something that might have happened
to someone else. Someone else might need a shoulder to cry
on, they might actually have a good reason, and i've been
acting in a way that i'm not so sure i'd give them mine,
and that needs to change, it desperately needs to change.
I want to be able to think of others before thinking of
myself, and thats something that i have been working on. I
dunno, i need to reprioritize my life and decide what goes
where. Oh well gotta go. Later


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