gcbaby4life420

my life
2003-04-14 17:08:22 (UTC)

STRESS

i just realized that i am sooooooooo stressed out by
everything right now. i am going to make a list of
everything that is stressing me, and how i feel about
it...and im going to TRY and get rid of all that stress
eventually lol.

1. BRANDON JACOBS - i wanted to see him more than u can
imagine, and i am sooooo pissed that i didnt get to, and
really sad. and i cant stop thinking about it or him.

2. Neal - hes soooo cool in person, but hes ALWAYS online
and he NEVER im's me and when I im HIM...he barely talks,
and THAT pisses me off...and confuses me...i dont get him.
In person, he stares at me and talks to me and acts like
he likes me...so why doesnt he talk online???

3. Justin - He STILL hasnt called and i havent talked to
him in over a week and a half...and even tho i say i dont
like him anymore, i really miss how things were with him.
and i wish that he would call and things could go back to
normal, cuz i actually still DO like him and im hurt that
hes acting like this. and REALLY confused about WHY hes
acting like that. but i refuse to IM him or call him.

4. Heidi and Ben - i think im going to stay out of that
situation from now on...cuz i realized that its stressing
me out cuz i feel like i have to make them like each
other...when really it has NOTHING to do with me anymore.

5. Rob - i finally let him know how i feel, and we havent
talked since then so i dont know how things are gunna go
with that. cuz i like him alot...but im not sure if i
really need him in my life right now. cuz he reminds me of
Brandon Jacobs ALOT. and i do NOT need that.

6. Brandon Schweim - i like him alot...and i can tell that
he likes me...even just a little...cuz i am the ONLY girl
that he hugs at that church...and the ONLY girl he sits
next to...and he makes sure that every week we sit
together. and yeah...but then i get the feeling that he
doesnt like me THAT much...but he leads me on...and WOW im
confused, cuz i really like him alot.

7.Prom alternative - i dont know who to go with!!! Brandon
S hasnt asked yet...and i have a feeling that hes not
going to anytime soon...so then i have to find another
date...maybe TR cuz Jon is begging me to take TR but i
dont know if i want to. but i really want to go with
Brandon...but Prom is sooo soon and he still hasnt
asked...UGH!!! what do i do?

8. the Little Brandon M - he likes me alot...but i do not
like him. well i think hes cool..but he keeps calling and
stuff and i keep trying to give him the hint...but he just
doesnt get it...but i dont want to be mean and be like "im
sorry i just dont like u, please stop calling and being
obsessed" but i cant handle him liking me...

9. TR - i am really really pissed at how he has been
acting lately, but even when i try to act mean and mad to
him...i jsut cant. i try so hard...but its sooo hard to be
mean to him, o well. but it really bothers me how he acts,
and i tell him what i think..but he just doesnt care and
that pisses me off

10. Peter - he told Brittany that i told him not to tell
her that the present was a note..! hes like "yeah Breyan
told me not to tell" so NOW i am gunna yell at him and
block him and never tell him anything ever again. fuck
him. god that pisses me off.

11. My mom - i dont get along with he AT ALL...we are
always fighting. there is about 5% of the day when we are
actually a LITTLE civil to each other...and i kno it
doesnt sound that bad..but it is. and i hate how things
are, im so sick of living here and her.

12. School next year - i want to go to Tartan next year,
but i am not smart at all and im soooo scared of getting
bad grades and flunking a bunch of stuff, and im afraid of
fitting in and getting lost and confused in that school.
but i want to go soooo bad...ugh i dont know what to do.

13 Work - i feel like i work every day sooooo long, but i
NEVER have any money. and all my friends make like twice
as much as me...even tho iv been working at this same job
for alomst 2 years...thats soooo gay!!! ugh

14 Ryan - i have never told anyone about him yet...not
even Brittany. but there is this guy that i met online and
have been talking to him, and its really fun cuz hes
really cool...but i would NEVER EVER do anything with him
or meet him or go out with him online or nothing...but i
know he would...so it stresses me out, cuz he like puts
pressure on me...but i cant stop talking to him cuz i like
to. yeah way longer story...


see? wayyyyyyyyyyy too much stress!!! i am thinking about
all that stuff constantly...and thats not even
including...school, home, friends, church, and everything
else. there is way too much going on right now...but i
dont know how to get rid of anything...if anyone has any
suggestions...LEAVE ME FEEDBACK and tell me. thanks im out




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