leviathan

we're headed nowhere.
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2003-04-14 02:47:27 (UTC)

i'm a fuckup

yeah, but who isn't?


Ok, good&pleasant things:
-i'm leaving for SAN FRAN on tuesday
-the walls are all blue
-i found a good place to smoke
-it isn't snowing

negative:
-my room smells like burnt cheese & bugspray
-my thoughts either drive me crazy or bore myself out of my skull
-it's going to snow in CA (the fuck?)
-oh yeah, i'm a fuckup


BOY, YOU'RE GONNA CARRY THAT WEIGHT.


I'm leaving to live in this orange boat with saucers and no cups.
with sugar and no tea. lily, has it been a year since last we talked
& long that year, though filled with nothingness.
you cried?
today, involuntary tears of pain.
something so simple as the
index finger against the shutting door will
spin you off
spinning in heavy
oriental
webs of CLICHES.
Do you know HOW tired I am of teenagers? oh lily
lily lily lily
it's tedious. It really is.
Something so somple as the
last word in our new petty argument
spin you off
(you know it's nothing)
you're spinning too heavy now.
'the world must be against me!'
But it's not.
Or if it is; it's against everybody.
lily, nightime is for owls whom are much wiser than we are;
let's go to sleep, lily. wake up. don't be so dark & strange.
it's tedious. It really is.
Please, send me off to live with Frank O'Hara in New York City and
I will just sit around
drinking cokes with him and
reading russian exile novels and
writing poems on his old typewriter.
I want that new life
for whining fades so fast.
light/skin/flash/fade/explosion.
How about you
CHEER UP, EMO KID.


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