Aradia Goblin Queen

confused once more

"Oh, the reading of lost pages; bitter-sweet incendiary.
How it flays old wounds." ~ Tio 4/13/03

this was in a friends away message. makes me wonder just
wot (or rather whom) they were speaking of.

so, tonight i was at my friends house, tim was there and
jokingly was given the choice between fucking the dog and
me. he choose the dog. and there goes my bloody self
esteem.

another friend tells me to brush it off, and eventually it
wont hurt. but two yrs of someone telling u that ur
basically repulsive to them is a bit hard to just let roll
down ur back.

i know it was just in fun, and i know i shouldnt be almost
crying right now. becuz yea, i am finally over him. now i
can say that freely and not feel like im lying to myself.
but it still kinda hurts.

just a bit.

ya know, im finally at a place where i dont feel like i
want to worry about getting into a relationship with anyone
(took two years to get there) and am somewot content with
the way things are, but when a friend insinuates shit like
that, it makes me question myself. (something i do enough
on my own thank you very much).

i guess ive just got about a million more things to work
thro and to get over.
yes stephanie, welcome to life.
ive just gotta keep saying that
-aradia