Mark Gittner

Gay Guy juggles his life struggles.
2003-04-13 01:33:14 (UTC)

My so-called life

I sit here typing today, wondering why or even how I deal
with all this crap. My parents think I'm HIV positive
because "I get sick too much" in thier opinion. Well in MY
opinion that kind of thinking is insensitive homophobic
shit that doesn't belong being directed at a family member.

I'm also apparently making my step-mother "compromise her
morals" by even letting me stay with them here, because
obviously being gay is worse to her than the virtue of
helping a relative in need.

I now hear that I NEVER clean my room, and have never
washed my sheets, and its gonna be weeks before my room is
safe and sanitary for the kids to play in after I move out,
cause of my "sickness", oh yeah, and the kids are to avoid
using my towel.

I also am supposedly stealing money from them, in the dead
of night, and I RARELY ever sleep she says.

On the other hand, I heard from my insurance co today, and
I am covered for 5500 on my car, leaving me 9000 yet to
pay, PLUS the 2500 fee they are charging me to even GET
that stupid insurance. SO I AM OFFICIALLY GONNA DECLARE
BANKRUPTCY. FINALLY.

I gotta raise at work, but my jobs on the line cause of
sales AGAIN, so I really have to buckle down and kiss some
serious customer ass again. I have like a DOZEN damn sales
floating out there, I just can't reel the suckers in. I am
not sure if it is my approach, or just a bad streak, but I
know I have been pretty inconsistent in doing my follow ups
on them. I only need the job til june or july, so I need to
not lose it now...

Anyway, I have like this major crush on a guy a work, named
steven. He is absolutely adorable, WAY TOO YOUNG, and just
the kind of guy I like to spend time with. Fun, never out
of stuff to talk about, and always approaching me first. I
just don't know if he's interested in me that way or not.
He must know I'm gay, but it seems to not bother him in one
little bit. As a matter of fact, he seems to come out of
his way to talk to me sometimes.... Ah well. It's not like
I could deal with a relationship or anthing right now.