Jen

not set
2003-04-12 02:21:06 (UTC)

Californiacation

its kind of true. what it says about hollywood. i heard
anthony is gay. i refuse to believe that. i'm not a
homophobe, i just refuse. he is oddly good looking for a 40
yr old though. but he can't be. he's my hero.

so is adam sandler. and jimmy fallon. i have many heroes.
most of them are guys. except tina fey and cheri oteri. i'm
pretty sure they aren't guys, but i haven't checked. nor do
i plan on it.

today was good. i guess. at first. i overslept on purpose,
so i was purposely late and i guess it was a good day, i
was in a good mood i suppose. then i went to track and it's
so disappointing and embarrassing. i'm so fucking slow. i
could make up a million excuses and say that it was all
just shin splints (i was walking like ozzy but i never
yelled sharon...) but i don't want to make excuses, because
for once i'm sure its me that's failing and not some
outside force. and that for once is extremely
disheartening. i've never truly failed. until now. it's ok,
but i can't quit. i refuse to quit. i respect everybody for
supporting me though. they're usually nice. but who knows
what people say behind your back.

then i drove home and my mom fuckin flipped. she's the
worst person to teach you to drive. it could be worse but
she's so annoying. she confused me when she was explaining
something so i drove how i interpreted and kinda messed up.
then she kept insisting that she didn't confuse me. because
there were like 10 other people in the car that confused
me, certainly not her. no, she's never at fault. i'm living
in the city eventually anyways, so public transportation
will be the way to go anyways.

then i saw a movie and it was ok. some people were talking
during all the parts where everyone laughed really loud. so
i guess i just missed the good parts and thats why it
wasn't too funny. when i left i felt like i needed anger
management. the ending sucked. kinda. it was weird, thats
all.

i don't like crowds anymore. i don't like people anymore. i
don't like people asking whats wrong. sometimes i do, but.
no. i like space. the more space the better. i don't want
to talk about this anymore.

i hope it rains so i don't have to shovel the track. it can
go fuck itself. that would be interesting to see.




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