Shellie Benellie

Me and My Life
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2003-04-12 01:40:54 (UTC)

another message for today

Yeah I told Suzanna what I felt. I told her that I was
pissed at her because she acts like people don't exsist
when others are around and stuff like that. Yeah and I know
part of it is the green bug. But I can't help... I have
low self esteem and it doesnt help with all the people I
hang out with that are twig and complian that they are
fat. I am jealous and I always will be because I am
afraid to lose someone. It takes me so long to open up to
someone and when I do I get jealous that they are going to
have a new freind thats better then me, gives better advise
and is funnier and better to chill with. I have been hold
so many feelings in latly so I don't blow up on someone and
now I do and it gets turned around on me ... I ignore
her ... I spend to much time talking to other people. I'm
sorry I have gone to Solvay my whole damn life and you cam
back and you had at least four times as many friends I ever
had. And the shitty thing is when I'm mad at you I have no
one to turn to thats not just going to agree with me to get
me to shut up. And it hurts when I am told Oh shelly we
love you so much and then i get ditched and talked about
behide my back and no one has the guts to tell me and I do
know that yall talk about me and think im loud and annoying
and studip but yall laugh which makes me think im doing
somehting right. I wish it was easy to have freinds ... I
wish it was just no problems no worring if i tell this
person something is everyone going to know?? Can i tell
this person what i truly think and feel?? Well anyways so
I kinda feel better not much though:(