kimjay215

The thoughts of Kimjay
2003-04-11 22:50:58 (UTC)

AHH what to do...what to do...

*clears throat*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok, thats somewhat better...there are times in life that i
just wanna curl up in a fetal position and cry cause life
is so crazy...

it hurts so much to "fall for someone" and then find out
they have a girlfriend or not coming back next semester.
which has happened all this semester...i fell for physics
guy and found out today he has a girlfriend, and then i
have army guy, but hes probably not comin back next year.
there are just times that i want that someone special,
just to be held and told that everything will be okay. i
know God has that someone for me, i know His timing is
perfect, but our timing is not on the same pattern...but
every time i go my own way, i just fall and get hurt,
which is not fun...

then there are times that i feel like i am all alone...i
don't feel like i am not in any circle of friends, here or
at home....when i go home, i feel so outta the loop and
that no one wants to do anything with me...here, i feel
like people plan things with my hall, and then don't tell
me about them, and i end up either alone or stuck doing
something i don't want to do with someone that i kinda
don't want to be with sometimes...i thought i found
someone, but i dunno whats up with him. we'll go do stuff
sometimes, and then theres times that he doesn't call back
or backs out on plans the day we planned for it...i
dunno...life sucks sometimes, and i wonder what i'm really
supposed to do and why i'm still here or why i was born in
the first place...i know that sounds like i am suicidal or
something, but i'm not..i have fun sometimes, but this
year seems like i am just an outcast that no one wants to
be with...




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