Jessica T.

how i see life...
2003-04-11 15:18:14 (UTC)

in a few short weeks

hey kids. sorry i haven't really been writing in here
lately but it seems like there is less and less for me to
write about. its not like the begining of the year where
i was writing in it everyday.
lindsey my friend down the hall has this link in her
profil and it is so awesome so i thought i would share it
with the people who read this diary(i'm sure all 2 of you)

In a few weeks...

A year has past and now we stand on the brink of
returning to a world where we are surrounded by the
paradox of everything yet nothing being the same. In a few
weeks we will reluctantly give our hugs and, fighting the
tears, say goodbye to the people who were once just names
on a sheet of paper to return to people that we hugged and
fought tears to say goodbye to before we ever left. We
will leave our best friends to return to our best friends.
We will go back to places we came from and go back to the
same things we did last summer and every summer before. We
will come into town on that same familiar road, and even
thought it has been months, it will seem like only
yesterday.

As you walk into your old bedroom, every emotion will pass
through you as you reflect on the way your life has
changed and the person you have become. You suddenly
realize that the things that were most important to you a
year ago don't seem to matter so much anymore, and the
things you hold highest now, no one at home will
completely understand. Who will you call first? Where are
you going to work? Who will be at the party Saturday
night? What has everyone been up to? Who from school will
you keep in touch with? How long before you actually start
missing people bargaining in without calling or knocking?
Who will get breadsticks with you at three in the morning?
How long until you adjust to sleeping in a room by
yourself, or how long before you realize your three best
friends aren't in the bed next to your room?

Then you realize how much things have changed, you realize
the hardest part of college is balancing the two
completely different worlds you now live in, trying
desperately to hold on to everything all the while trying
to figure out what you have to leave behind. In the matter
of one day's traveling time, we will leave our world of
living next door to our best friends, walking across
campus to eat, instant messenger, 8:00 classes, and
perpetual procrastination to a world that will seem
foreign to us despite the fact that we have lived in it
for nineteen years.

But it is different now... We now know the meaning of true
friendship. We know whom we have kept in touch with over
the past year and whom we hold dearest to our hearts.
We've left our high school worlds to deal with the real
world. We have had our hearts broken, we've fell in love,
we've helped our best friends through the toughest times
of their lives, something their even best friends at home
couldn't be there for. We've stayed up all night just to
be there for a friend. We've partied the night away, doing
stupid stuff, but we were always there for each other
afterwards. There have been times when we've felt so
helpless being hours away from home when we know our
families or friends needed us most, and there are times
when we know we have made a difference.

A few weeks from now we will leave. A few weeks from now
we take down our pictures, and pack up our clothes. No
more going next door to do nothing for hours on end. We
will leave our friends whose random emails and phone calls
will bring us to laughter and tears this summer. We will
take our memories and dreams and put them away for now,
saving them for our return to this world.

A few weeks from now from now we will arrive. A few weeks
from now from now we will unpack our bags and have dinner
with our families. We will drive over to our best friend's
house and do nothing for hours on end. We will return to
the same friends whose random emails and phone calls have
brought us laughter and tears over the past year. We will
unpack old memories and dreams that have been put away for
the past year.

A few weeks from now we will dig deep inside to find the
strength and conviction to adjust to change and still keep
each other close. And somehow, in someway, we will find
our place between these two worlds.

In a few weeks.... are you ready?




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