HeArT_of_AnGeLs

Inside A Mind Full Of Imagination
2003-04-11 09:40:42 (UTC)

At least one and a half week left...

...Until my cataract operation. I know it doesn't seem
too... er... biggie? But this is gonna be my first
operation ever. And I'm kindda scared. I try not to think
about it, but now and again, it just comes to my mind. I
know that the surgeon's pretty good, but... there are
chances that something could go wrong. I've got aneamia and
found out that I have Thalarsemia (I don't exactly know
what it is, but the doctor said that the shape of my blood
cells aren't circular. Something like that.). And I'm gonna
have a general aneasthetic. So I'm hoping that the
aneasthetic doesn't affect me in anyway during and after
the operation.
Anywayz, my life right now is boring. My class term has
finished and I'm on holidays right now. I'm tring to write
but can't, because... I don't know exactly. Right now I'm
thinking that nothing's getting me to write (motivation),
and maybe that's because of the operation. I don't know. Or
maybe it's also because I haven't talked to "J" in two
nights (I ran out of credits on my phone), and that I told
him I'm gonna be distracting myself from the operation that
I might not be able to call him a little while. What an
excuse huh?
I don't know what's happening between us. But right now, I
think I'd just like to be a friend to him. We're a little
too similiar yet different. It's kindda weird.
And what I said before, about him liking me? Well, I'm not
really sure if it's real. I mean, I might have
misinterpreted it because, well, since he's someone I like,
it might have been that I was... er... you know. Kindda
like dreaming him to like me. Know what I'm saying? Even if
he once called me on the home phone (he has my home number)
to talk to me about this favour he asked of me... which was
buy him liquor as a present for a friend of his. In any
case, I didn't get to because I had other things to do that
day, and I had doubt the day before. I kept hoping that...
he wouldn't continue asking me to do that because I don't
really wanna get in trouble, even if I'm just doing a
favour for him. Still, I had a dream and it felt sort of
like a warning. I don't know. I might have misinterpreted
that too. But I actually felt a little better that I didn't
do it, though I still feel guilty for not doing a favour to
a friend.
Well, anywayz, I just wanna get to know him at the moment
and at the same time, look still for the right one. Sounds
crazy, but I believe that everyone has someone for them out
there.
Okay, now I think I've written enough. I'll go try to
write... actually, continue writing my stories. Ciao!!

Karrie


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