Angeline

blah blah blah blah
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2003-04-10 22:05:33 (UTC)

In My Place

I don't get myself sometimes... I can feel miserable all
day.. hate the way I look, walk, talk, everything about
me ... and I'll sit there all day contemplating my
faults... convinced that I'll never be happy until I fix
them... and then some guy walking by will smile or wink or
wave at me.. and it'll make me 1,000 times happier. I
don't understand it at all. Normally I don't depend on
others to make me happy, or make me feel less insecure. I
never even ask people what they think of me because I'm so
foucused on what I think of myself... and I know I'm
right.... yet a complete stranger, who probably tries to
grab the attention of every female who walks by, can make
me happier. I dunno.. I can't explain it.. maybe it's
just because I worry too much about what guys I don't know
think of me rather than accepting the fact that the guys I
do know like me the way I am. Either way it doesn't
matter... the most goergeous guy in the world could fall in
love with me tomorrow and I wouldn't stop thinking about
myself long enough to even notice. I hate having to worry
about what I look and act like so much. People get the
wrong idea... and they think I'm conceited... I don't want
people to think that everytime I look in the mirror I'm
only doing it to admire myself... when in fact.. I'm
reminding myself of all the things about me that need to be
fixed... Now that I think about it.. maybe I care more
about what other people think than I thought I did.. maybe
I'm just being over dramatic.. and everything isn't half as
bad as I think it is... or maybe I just think too much in
the first place...

Title:Coldplay


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