hockeyplayah

Life's a bitch...then it has puppies
2003-04-10 19:55:34 (UTC)

Why before hockey?

damn...i thought today was gonna kick serious ass. i have
one of the biggest games for marshall hockey tonight and no
one is coming. i can understand some pplz excuses but
others just don't make sense. it really gives you a sense
of how much ppl are your friends. you get passed over to go
watch some guys ass, to doing nothing, and to "oh i'll come
next time." kinda disappointed. whatever.

okay so after that talk i had w/ shannon, the thought has
just been in my head. what is it like? just to do it one
time to see. i mean i honestly know i don't want to because
it's just not me. but it's just a tempting thought. i know
i'm going to wait and find someone who's going to
understand who i am and understand that i am a caring
person, not just someone who can fill in ur physical needs.
however, as i become more older and gain somewhat more
masculine qualities, it just bogs my mind to know what it
is like. after a somewhat physical relationship w/ rosalie,
it kind of looms behind you that there might be someone who
can be there for you. i may be rambling but if you can
understand what i'm feeling, then you're either a) the
perfect person for me 2)a really AMAZING friend or c)
someone i've never met and have a really really really f'ed
up personality like me. so if part a applies, please
reply :-), if part b applies, i must thank you for
understanding.

there's just someone that has been becoming closer friends
to me lately and i'm really likin' it. this person has
taken it upon themselves to improving the way they look and
has changed their personality towards me, which has become
more and more attractive. no one knows about it but i
notice, which is the only thing that counts right now. to
this mysterious person, i hope you notice back. and that's
all i'm gonna give you on this one so far.




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