HeavenlyMindedHeart

WAKE ME UPINSIDE

Dear Diary,

I don't know its weird jonathon tells me all these stories
about him and other girls and they seem to be doin what I
wanna do they get to be close to him.and then he tells me
that his xgirlfriend LaShonda was with him somewhere on the
bac of a bus and they almost had sex or did they have sex
and he doesn't wanna tell me about it?I don't know I don't
see why he wouldn't wanna tell me.You I wonder when he
looks at me what is he thinking.Does he ever miss bein my
boyfriend but he makes it seem like hes havin such a good
time with these girls that he doesn't even think about me
at all when he calls me is he callin me because hes really
bored and he has no1 else to talk to or is he callin me
because he was thinkin about me that I don't think I will
ever know.Sometimes I get the mental urge to ATLEAST make
out with him but I wonder would he push me away.Last Night
at 2:00 a.m. we got off the phone and about 10 minutes
after we got off the phone I wanted to talk to him..But I
didn't call him bac because for 1 it was 2:00 in the
mornin and for 2 I think he might b sleep but I couldn't
help last night wanting to know what does he think right
after he gets off the phone wit me does his mind immediatly
go to another girl or does he think about me analyz the
convo we just had.That I Will probably never know
either.You Know I feel like I kinda write in this diary as
if I want him to read it and for some strange reason I
really do want him to read it so he knows how i feel I get
know answers from just writing down or thinkin about the
question I guess the only way to get a real answer is to
ask him. But I think It would ne easier if he just read my
diary for himself! and then told me his response to my
entries.I find it much easier to talk to him online because
I am more of a written exspressive person as you can see.I
need to know!the school year is almost over and I need to
either get with him or live with out him.Hope he doesn't
4get me over the summer We have so got to go swimin 2gether
cuz I happen to be a water freak!HE DON'T KNOW THAT!shhhh.
Ne ways well I'm runnin outta things to say I'm sur I'll
Have more to say tomorrow when another day goes by.
Love always and forever,
Mia