Witnesspals Writings
2003-04-08 05:01:52 (UTC)

In memory of my dad.

Times I missed out on that there is no way to bring back no
matter how hard you try. Things that I had not said that I
will regret for the rest of my life. Taking for granted all
that he did for me till he is not there to do it
anymore.Sometimes I think...will I ever again feel as safe
as I did when he hugged me,resting in his arms there was no
greater comfort. He became someone I didn't know delirious
because of medication. He slipped into his own world where
no one could reach him. He still knew we loved him, at
least I hope so. The moment came in the middle of the
night. The nurse said there was a short time left to call
all the family. The night was long and hard, telling him I
loved him not sure if he even heard me. Then the words were
spoken to me "he just passed away". What do I do? Where do
I turn? Brothers and sisters gather around immediately to
comfort us. Whatever they say it just doesn't help. Trying
not to feel the pain that kills you inside,not willing to
admit that it rips you apart. Tears stream down but no one
cares, so it seems, all alone. The family comes in and
crowds litteraly gather at the hall. All to mourn the loss
of the person who was probably the closest to me... the one
that called me his little girl. As different ones remind
you of the hope of the new world, you know this is going to
come about. Right now that time seems so far off. So now
two and a half years later some still tell me to move on,
but how do I do that.... I keep thinking and I know the
only way that I have thus far was with Jehovah's help.
However, times come that makes me wonder can I continue
through another day with out him there to give me that
little push that he could give so lovingly. He taught me to
love Jehovah to do right in his eyes. For this I am very
thankful. So I continue to live one day at a time... till
the new order and I can welcome him back.
Rebekah Barr

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