Woodsmoke

Montana bound
2003-04-08 04:24:41 (UTC)

Just about had it

Well, stuff's been happening. Unfortunately, it's the
kind of stuff I don't want happening. Ever since Kara
broke up with me, I've been getting two sides of the same
coin, and a handful of change to boot. None of which I
want.
First, Natalie is telling me that the whole time, Kara
was planning to hook me only so she could break me. Now
I'm not making any assumptions, but if it is true, she did
a damn good job of it. For a while, anyway. God I love
songs like Alabama's "Can't Keep A Good Man Down." They're
perfect for situations like this.
Then there's Kara telling me that Natatlie is only
saying these things in an attempt to embitter me against
Kara, thus improving her own odds at a relationship with
me. Kara told me that she's just not ready for a
relationship yet. At least not with me. She didn't say
this last part, but "It don't take a genuis to spot a goat
in a herd o' sheep." In other words, anyone can see that,
were Skeeter to be on the market again, she would buy him
up before the store even opened. I can understand where
she's coming from. I did the same thing for quite a while
to Dani, always waiting for Jessica to look my way again.
Thank God I got over that. I hope I have, anyway.
Plus there's all the little bits put in by the third
parties. Skeeter and Josiah swear by Natalie, Rachel
stands with Kara, and Dani hopes they all smeg up so she
has no competition. That she knows of, anyway.
What it all comes down to is I'm about this close to
just dropping the whole smegging mess. Before I do,
though, for fairness, I'm going to give them a chance. By
them I mean Kara and Natalie. I'm not saying I'm perfect,
but I try to avoid spinning the webs to get my way like
some people do, and like they both seem to be doing right
now. Truthfully, I hate it when I get tangled up in all
that shit. So I'm offering them a choice. I still like
them both, and I'd like for something to happen with one or
both of them at one time or another, but I won't tolerate
this crap. I don't which of them is lying, or if it's both
of them, but I mean to find out. Until they can both come
forward and tell me the honest truth--the exact same from
both of them, no biases or accents--I don't want to have
anything to do with either of them outside of simple
friendship. I realize that they could talk between
themselves and create a half truth from which they could
both benefit; if such were to occur, and I were to find out
about it somewhere down the line, they would wish for the
time when friendship is all I'll give them. Or one of them
could simply refuse to tell the truth, compromising the
whole affair for both of them; if this happens, I'll do my
best to sift through it all and find the truth. However,
in all likelihood, if I can't get the truth from both of
them, I'll just move on. Not do Dani, though I know she
wishes I would. Probably to Allison. I have a hunch that
she has an interest in me, and I most definitely have an
interest in her, so I think my chances are good. Plus,
we've known each other for a fair number of years, and we
always gotten along; if nothing else, at least I can enjoy
her company more than the webs of everyone else. God bless
simple country girls. They're women, yes, and as such are
impossible to fully understand, but for a heartland seeking
country boy like myself, they're the best this huge toilet
we live on has to offer.
Anyway, it's bed time. G'night, y'all. Hopefully I'll
have some news to report on Allison soon.


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